I Am not afraid to be REAL. As long as I am hiding behind the mask of my alter ego, BitsySpyder. If you are sick of all the rules and you would like to say SCREW YOU to the next bozo who thinks we all need to be polite…. Perhaps you and I are well suited to enjoy spitting venom on all the CareBears. Oops!
Ok I confess, I think CareBears were cool. Also, I admit that I am not as vulgar as you will conclude, because I am actually a nice person- which is a stark contrast to the personality you will come to know me for. It warms me to the center of my original, cave woman self to admit that I am very naughty behind the scenes. I am no party pooper. Not me! I participate in the party! In fact, remember that time you had a sudden urge to drive naked to the drive through to order midnight French fries ??! That was my idea and I implanted the thought using my nano-Betty-bot technology. OK, that didn’t happen, but admit it, you were stunned for a moment when you thought I knew the sick shit you thought of... I mean really??? Is the naked drive through thing a thrill to you? What the hell is wrong … Just kidding again. I won’t judge you, I won’t mock you (I will probably mock you), and I won’t indulge your fantasy of thigh-fries either.
As a side note : I am always curious when some crazy person is able to shock me, since nothing shocks me anymore. The world has numbed me into a bitch who makes you laugh and sometime makes you uncomfortable . I insist that you Keep reading my words, and admit it. Your a little in love with me. If your a chick I say: “Ha! Lezbo! I knew your favorite dinosaur was lickalotopuss! Lez be friends, honey. Just friends.” And if you are a guy reader, to you I say “Get In line, it’s very long and it isn’t moving, because I am taken. However, I DO recommend to lesbians and single men alike, it might be worth waiting for all eternity in the line of dudes and lezbos who are a little in love with me. It may turn into a great conversation one day when my judgement is poor and my husband is cranky. I am not a cheater (or a lez) but I am a woman who enjoys feeling appreciated. Like all females. The best tool for my psycho- jealous- inner-beast to use in the imaginary war between my lover and I is my sexy, slow, witty charm. The slithering snake of seductive sentences smiles sweetly as the line of up those who are a little in love with me are left catching their breath from the excitement.
Only my honey knows who I really am and he won’t tell either. After all, from the line of people who are a little I love with me – He is the MOST in love with me, and he wins all the prizes, always. Lucky Fellah.
Trivial Bullshit Ask the Readers #1
I admitted an ugly truth about me today. I can be a selfish bitch . You might compare me to this little girl, a character whose famous line was “I want a golden goose NOW Daddy!”
Who is the little girl? (Her character name ).
Reply with answers in the comments.