BitsySpyder content is for adults. This content is intended for a mature audience, so if you are under the age of 18- leave now because… I am not yo’ mama. Also, If you are worried about Yo’ Mama walking in and finding you reading this “smut”… then you are probably not supposed to be here. EXIT NOW KID!
Ok, readers. Now that I have made the kids go to bed, what should I get my twisted self into. I should start with the truth. That always works, because the truth is ugly most of the time, and lets face it. People like ugly stories, as long as beautiful people are the ones delivering the message. Think of news casters or actresses in a sad movie. So long as they are VERY attractive, it captivates us. Well I guess my weird experiment will fail if you shallow, slime balls are only interested in visual sex appeal. EVEN THOUGH I AM THE HOTTEST WOMAN SINCE CLEOPATRA … I cant prove it and I wont reveal anything about my appearance- because, remember…I am hiding behind the warm blanket of anonymity provided by the web. I swear I am a babe according to my husband.
Word to the wise (and advice for the rest of us):
If you are not single- take this next part very seriously if you don’t want a fight later.
Stop right now if you have a jealous partner, and invite him or her to read my blogs too. IT IS A MUST. THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE EVERYONE IS HAPPY IS IF WE ALL AGREE TO DO THIS, HUSBANDS + WIVES + Boyfriends + Girlfriends. If you don’t invite your partner then essentially it would be cheating. I say this to women and men alike. A wise man should live by the old cliché ” A happy wife is a happpy life” . In other words, don’t cheat on your lover with me. Do not make the mistake of secretly reading bitsyspyder. She or he WILL find out, so please I insist you must show this babble to your treasured mate. Then we all can begin our life long adventure.
OK NOW THE REAL SHIT.
I Am not afraid to be REAL. As long as I am hiding behind the mask of my alter ego, BitsySpyder. If you are sick of all the rules and you would to say FUCK YOU to the next asshole who thinks we all need to be polite…. Perhaps you and I are well suited to enjoy spitting venom on all the care bares. Woops!
Ok I am actually pretty nice, which is a stark contrast to the other part of my personality. It warms me to the center of my original, cave woman self to admit that I am very naughty behind the scenes. I am no party pooper. Not me! I participate in the party! In fact, remember that time you had a sudden urge to drive naked to the drive through to order midnight French fries ??! That was my idea and I implanted the thought using my nano-Betty-bot technology. Ok, that didn’t happen, but admit it, you were stunned for a moment when you thought I knew the sick shit you thought of… I mean really??? Is the naked drive through thing a thrill to you? What the hell is wrong … Just kidding again. I won’t judge you, I won’t mock you (I will probably mock you), and I won’t indulge your fantasy of thigh-fries either.
As a side note : I am always curious when some crazy person is able to shock me, since nothing shocks me anymore. The world has numbed me into a bitch who makes you laugh and sometime makes you uncomfortable . I insist that you Keep reading my words, and admit it. Your a little in love with me. If your a chick I say: “Ha! Lezbo! I knew your favorite dinosaur was lickalotopuss! Lez be friends, honey. Just friends.” And if you are a guy reader, to you I say “Get In line, it’s very long and it isn’t moving, because I am taken. However, I DO reccomend to lesbians and single men alike, it might be worth waiting for all eternity in the line of dudes and lezbos who are a little in love with me. It may turn into a great conversation one day, and my judgemen is poor and my
Trivial Bullshit Ask the Readers #1
I admitted an ugly truth about me today. I can be a selfish bitch . You might compare me to this little girl, a character whose famous line was “I want a golden goose NOW Daddy!”
Who is the little girl? (Her character name ).
Reply with answers in the comments.